My Bible study group decided on a book by Lisa Harper called “stumbling into grace”. Great book except that she is digging in my trunk! This ‘digging’ has brought me once again to a place of ‘soul searching’ that I don’t enjoy. While I don’t care for this process, I have once again arrived here. Jesus must think it is necessary.
When I do a clean out, I have to do a thorough job..doesn’t everyone? So now we are detoxing the soul , taking a long hard look at myself. Yuk! I know that I am not good, that no good lives in me and that compared to my Savior all of my good is but filthy rags..Go with me as I discover just how filthy I am.
In this book that I will refer to as stumbling, Lisa asks some questions such as, What are you scared of? What keeps you bound? Unhealthy thoughts? How do you honor God in the midst of people problems? You get the gist. In reading and answering the questions in stumbling I have really had to put some thought into the answers. After all, I have to share this information with the ladies, and I don’t want to share too much about myself. Especially when the news is less than flattering.
So days go by and I am learning more and more about myself. Needing more help than I originally thought, I turn to a devotional plan to help detox my soul. More bad news..I am the exact kind of person that I don’t like. When did I become so self-righteous? When did it become okay to agree with someone when they are dead wrong? Or worse yet, I am dead wrong and I refuse to hear someone else rebuke my behavior? When did it become okay to talk about people instead of to them?
I have a very important calling on my life. If I am going to try to motivate people to live better I should definitely practice what I preach. I love Jesus so much and I know that He loves me. So much like my husband, I want to please Him. I want to look good, smell good and behave well, not so that He will love me but so that He desires me. I am not impressed with outright mean, hateful people. It is safe to assume that he is not either. Pray with me as I allow God to do His work in me. I will no longer be a lying, gossiping self righteous person.
1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks u